Thank you for passing the time with me,
It’s so lonely waiting to die.
Can’t tell you how angry I felt
when you first appeared
with fruit and flowers
wittering on about sun and the seasons?
I wanted to scream at you ‘I’m dying.’
Have you got the colouring book?
One of your slightly better ideas.
Silly really but I love doing them,
reminds me of being little,
using every crayon in the box.
Mother and me at the kitchen table.
Now when you do the flowers,
please don’t throw away the daisies,
although I know they are past their best.
Could you do my nails?
I often had a manicure when I was working,
it seems important that God should see
I’ve tried my hardest.
I love the oils, the scent of lavender
challenging that mournful medical smell.
Hold my hand, I’m feeling so very tired.
Deep rhythms overwhelm me
creeping in on every side.
My eyelids are amazing rainbows,
how very strange.
Let’s say goodbye now – softly –
just in case I slip away.
(in memory of Gwen)